Monday, June 30, 2008

One step closer

I received my plane tickets today!!! Well, actually, they're e-tickets, not quite as glamorous, but hey! It's the 21st century. Packing is moving along slowly, but surely.

I will probably be heading over to Smith's tomorrow night for the Vagabonds CD release. I heard a little rumor that Hedwig and the Angry Inch may make a surprise appearance. Hedwig unplugged would be something not to be missed.

I went all the way to Asia Minor..

Emily Saliers wrote "I went all the way to Paris, just to forget your name". I'm going all the way to central Asia just to, well, go....I'm up late because I need to get some things done, like, oh, well...packing. I'm ironing my wretchedly cute yellow plaid capri pants, cherry print skirt, etc. It's been a little difficult packing because, well, while Turkey is a democratic, secular country, the culture is inherently Muslim. That means that fashions are decidedly western in nature, however, sleeveless tops and short skirts are verboten. And if you know me, that means I'm having a difficult time here. And I have no idea how heavily tattooed women will be received, but I guess I'm about to find out. I am equipped to cover them if necessary. I even am in possession of a headscarf for the outer regions, and if you know me, that's probably frucking you out...

Question for you all. Am I the only bitch who packs Pringles, Pop Tarts, Baked Cheetos, and Caribou Coffee Bars to go to Istanbul? I figure it's a 5 hour bus ride from the Golden Horn to Bursa, and I might get hungry. One never knows what the magic bag might hold...Neosporin, Moleskin, a blanket, oh...look! a Pop Tart!

I have to say, as a sound guy, I'm fantasizing about the soundscape of Istanbul. To hear the roar of a European city mixed with the muezzins's call to prayer should be pretty exciting, to say the least. Then when we get further into the interior and the southeastern regions, I have absolutely NO idea what those places will sound like. I've never ever heard anyone speak Kurdish. I imagine that the coastal, resort cities will sound not unlike Panama City Beach, except in Turkce. I do have to say that I am looking forward to a day or two spent on the beach of the Turkish Mediterranean. I'm thinking I may run by Radio Shack and pick up a $50 mp3 usb recorder just because no one will believe what I've heard...Let me know if you guys have any ideas on models, etc...

I've also been reading a lot lately about Turkce food. Just damn! To think that tomatoes are as prevalent there as the deep south, meaning that I can get a 'mater sammich in Istanbul is blowing my mind! Believe it or not, they eat a 'mater sammich about the same way we do! Who wouldn't! Plus, think of all the meat on sticks! And the cheese and the bread puddings. I'm gonna come back 20 lbs heavier, except for the climbing and walking and whatnot. I may do an entire photo album on food you can stab.

We leave July 11th. I wish I could take many of you with me, because I have so many friends I would love to share this with..I am, however, going to try to blog while I'm there. I understand that internet cafes are plentiful in the larger towns, and most of my hotels have a business center. I doubt I be able to upload photos, but if my friend Matthew can blog from Kathmandu, then I'll probably have no trouble from Kusadasi.

I'll let you kids know how the packing is going later on in the week. We're flying Delta and damn if the summabitches aint knocked down the weight restrictions on internationals to 50 lbs. I may have to abandon some clothes in lieu of Cheezits and Jim Beam..Look on the bright side..you can smoke ANYWHERE in Turkey. They've never even heard of a no smoking section! Yay me! I'm not, however, looking forward to 15 hours in the air with nothing but Nicorette, Jim Beam, and Xanax...

Love, peace, and hair grease...
H

Friday, June 20, 2008

Alarms, feral cats, and eyeballs

Apparently I slept through multiple phone calls from boss around 6am this morning. It seems that the alarm at the shop was going off, she was in Las Vegas, and I live just around the corner from the shop. This makes me the first call at ungodly hours of the day. Amazingly, I didn't hear it, which is weird because I'm so cracked out on my phone that I can sense it before it even rings.

Turns out a feral cat had gotten locked in the warehouse and was trying to get out. Poor little guy. I'm sure his little kitty whiskers were all atwitchin' at that alarm that is louder than a Metallica concert.

I had an eye appointment this morning. That's right, boys and girls, it's that time of year. Time to have my eyelids pried open like that scene from Conspiracy Theory and have some kind of battery acid dropped into them. Optometrist like to call this "eye dilation". I call it something that was outlawed with the Geneva Convention. Oh well, it's kind of one of those things you have to do, vision being pretty key to do all of those things we like to do, such as driving, reading, watching TV, playing beer pong...

The weird thing was that the doc was doing all these new little tests I've never had done. I'm not sure if he was checking to see if I needed old people glasses or a cornea transplant, but something was amiss. I was fairly sure it was going to end in tears.

So I've got new glasses AND new contacts coming. Of course, due to the fact that I'm as blind as those weird deep sea fish that have no eyes, they had neither my contacts or lenses in stock. My glasses wont' be here for a few days and my contacts are probably being milled by little Indonesian children from sand and niobium, so they won't be here for at least a week. Oh...to be able to wear sunglasses again!

All right kids. Gotta go do a little skit about a drag queen with a botched sex change, so pants are probably not optional. I just hope I have some clean ones, since my eyes are all jacked up and I'll have to locate they by sense of smell.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Lesson Learned

I learned a valuable lesson on Sunday night/early Monday morning. If I eat Chinese Buddha at 2am (they stay open until 6am..YAY!) and then go home and go to bed, it will give me wretched nightmares. So from now on, no matter how appealing the crab rangoon and potstickers sound after a few drinks, I need to relegate myself to the Majestic or simply some Cheezits. Because, really, who doesn't like Cheezits?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Awesome

Last night. Mudhoney at the EARL. Fuck yeah.

That is all.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Souveniers, anyone?

I wonder if I can find one of these in The Grand Bazaar?

Blog, blog, ohh...blog..

Like my friend K, I too have been a bad blogger. Oh, I love reading other people's blogs and get pissed off when they don't update on a regular basis. But it seems to be in my nature lately to be kind of lazy as far as intarweb updates go. Instead, I have preferred to spend my time off at home, in the AC (Atlanta is MISERABLE this time of year!) watching really bad 80's movies on AMC. Sometimes I even get in bed as early as 8.30 and watch this drivel. Let's see, in the past week, I've watched Wargames, Death Wish 3, and Flashdance (twice!!??). And I have to finish this post by 8pm, because Escape from New York comes on then. WTF is the matter with me??!!! I really have nothing to say to anyone on the phone, with the exception of L, whom I'm going to Turkey with in a few weeks, and those conversations usually consist of where we can smoke in JFK while we make our connection to Istanbul. Then I usually tell her to turn on AMC, because Flashdance is on, so she hangs up and we text each other snide comments about the great cinematography.

But seriously, the location of where we can smoke in the few hours before we settle into an almost 20 hour flight is IMPORTANT STUFF. No one wants an international incident. And trust me, with the two of us, it's very possible. Nicorette, here I come. Actually, it will probably be Xanax and 3 drinks, followed by a deep sleep/coma. Thank god it's a direct flight so I won't have to disembark and clear immigration in some craphole like Frankfurt.

I think what's going on is that I'm completely overwhelmed. I have a new show that loads in on Friday, and I have almost no staff for that. Then, I have to get it open. Somewhere in there, I have to pack to leave for a country that is 3 continents away for 17 days. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about all of this. Just a little freaked out. Oh yeah, then there's the whole "trying to buy a house" thingy..and the HUGE obstacle in the way of that..sigh..Not to mention the whole lack of sex in my life, which would go a long way to easing some anxiety...

Seriously, I need to take a leaf blower to the interior of my apartment.

Gotta go. Kurt Russell is on a few.

Off like a prom dress.
H