A bad day

Being dead seems to be a really awful way to start out a Saturday morning.

Seeing the dead person on the way to work is also pretty bad, albeit not as bad as actually being the dead person.

I was on my way to the theater factory this morning, sun shining down and the wind blowing the way it blows on beautiful Atlanta mornings in October, when I heard the sirens. Lots of sirens. Loud, persistent, take notice of me sirens. As I approached the City Hall East block of Ponce, I could see a goat fuck of official looking vehicles, including forty-eleven police cars, at least two crime scene investigation vans, and two ambulances. In the middle of the fray, lying face down in the middle of the center, east bound lane, was an woman. Kind of heavy-set, she was wearing black sweat pants and a white t-shirt with some sort of black slip on shoes. Amazingly, she still had on both of her shoes. The strangest thing was her back pack. It was sitting in the road, directly to her right, like she had placed it there, then decided to lie down and nap for bit. There was no blood or gore, just a woman who seemed to be resting.

I don't know who she is or how she died. I want to know. I want to know what happened to that woman. What kind of violence ends with someone face down in the middle of a busy street in my neighborhood, their back pack placed carefully beside them, as if not to spill the contents.

How I feel today...

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I'm lovin' it!

I was late for my show call yesterday. About 30 minutes, to be exact. And for once, it was not my fault. I caught the correct bus (good 'ole number 2, remember that one?) and it actually arrived at my bus stop at the correct time. Since I was totally engrossed in whatever nonsense I was listening to on my Zen, it took me a bit to realize that the bus had been stopped in front of the McDonald's on Ponce for about 10 minutes and the bus driver was nowhere to be seen. Of course, the bus was still idling and the doors were wide open. I asked a woman seated across the aisle from me what the deal was, and she informed that apparently the driver was hungry.

After about another 15 minutes of waiting, the driver reappeared with a Happy Meal. He could have at least asked everyone else if they wanted anything or gone through the drive-thru.

No wonder MARTA has a reputation for being unreliable.

That's got to be one of the most ghetto-ass things I've ever seen.

How far will we go?

The girl hero and I were talking yesterday about botox. It seems like it's a topic that has been coming up a lot lately, not sure why. Upon further examination, we concluded that using botulism to rid one's self of wrinkles is the equivalent of self-inflicted biological warfare. Who in the hell came up with this idea?! WTF! It is now commonplace for otherwise right thinking grrls to VOLUNTARILY have a paralyzing pathogen injected into their body, all in the name of "beauty". "What's next?" we asked ourselved. Using mustard gas to color our hair? Imagine that conversation on an all new episode of "Sex and the City". It would probably go something like this:

Miranda: Oh my god! Samantha! Your hair color looks so great today! Are you doing something different?

Samantha: Well girls, I have found THE hairdresser of the moment.

Carrie: You're not going to Raoul anymore? Two weeks ago you said you trusted him with your life!

(Notice how all the characters end every sentence with an exclamation point..but I digress..)

Samantha: Oh noooo....Raoul just wasn't up to the minute with his coloring techniques. Now I'm seeing Maxine...

Charlotte: What does she do? New product line?

Samantha: Oh yesssss....Forget that Redkin or Biolage crap. She uses mustard gas!

Carrie: Mustard gas?! But isn't that dangerous?

Samantha: Honey, EVERYTHING'S dangerous. It's all about how much something is worth to you. And being blonde is worth EVERYTHING to me.

And scene....

Gotta go. The new line of anthrax matte powder from MAC just came out and I gotta get some quick! The stuff is just FLYING off the shelves..

Google is AWESOME!

I love Google. Everything about Google. It's the best. But this may be the one thing they release that will one day save my ass.

Can I get this as an application for my phone?

Maybe I should get one for my nephew...

more the engrish!

The games we play

I don't often blog about my personal life, for a lot of reasons. I don't want a bunch o peeps up in my grill, and I really don't like the feeling of my panties showing on the internet.

But I gotta get something off my chest.

There is a game that people who are dating play. It's called "I don't like you as much as you like me". It's a great game. It allows people who are casually getting to know each other the ability to save face. To never be embarrassed. To not have to put themselves out there if they are unsure if the feelings are reciprocated.

That said, I don't like games. Have you ever played Scrabble with me? Probably not. But I, too, dear reader, am guilty of it. We all are. I mean seriously, what's a reasonable minded grrl to do? Embarrass herself over omelets? Never. I would never.

That being said, Donutorama is throwing down the gauntlet. I vow to never play that game again. If I like you, I gonna let you know. It may be in subtle ways. I mean really, how many people have I let drive the General Lee? If I let you drive my car, I consider it fairly serious. In 1984, that would have meant that we were meant to be together. But it's not 1984 (as much as I wish it were..oh wait..that would mean I was living..where?..no I really don't). It's the way I make sure that you think that I smell good when you hug me and the way that I always seem to be making sure that my eyelashes are artificially long enough when you see me; that I'm always wearing the right outfit and that my panties are always "situation appropriate".

So seriously y'all. I'm done with the games. I don't have time (got a job and shit).

The next time someone is interested in Donutorama, they should just probably tell her. I vow to throw down the score card.

Off like a prom dress..

H

Who would Tommy Chong vote for?

Since I'm working tonight, I'll have to watch the replay of the VP debates. In the meanwhile, here's some food for thought.

Are you a liberal dem with a hardcore commitment to the Obama/Biden ticket? You might want to do a little more research on your own vice-prez candidate. Don't tase me, bro has a very interesting post about Joe Biden's history as one of America's most vehement players in the failure that is the "War on Drugs". In fact, he's the guy who coined the term "Drug Czar" and was responsible for writing the legislation that led to the incarceration of Public Enemy Number One, Tommy Chong. I know I slept better at night knowing THAT guy was locked safely away.

Let's not get bogged down with images and forget the issues.

My ears are bleeding.

There's an unspoken rule on Atlanta public transportation. It reads as follows: During rush hour, whether on a bus or train, one shall not vocalize in levels above 100 decibels. What that means, boys and girls, is SHUT THE FUCK UP. I was on the good ole number 2 this afternoon about 5.30, and I swear, there was a group of people hollerin like there was a damn emergency. Conversations that reach the level of fire engine sirens are not welcomed, let me tell you. I went to a Metallica concert in 1992 at the Omni that wasn't that loud. Seriously, I couldn't hear the music playing in my earbuds over their little tea party. The Cuban revolution wasn't that loud.

I suppose I could have taken some responsibility for myself and asked them to lower it to the level of an F-16, but surely my steely glare should have sufficed.

It didn't.

I just hope my commute home won't be quite so obnoxious.

Why I dislike Carrie Bradshaw.

Here Greta Christina describes most eloquently why I hate "Sex and the City". Come on gals, stop trying to pretend that you're all such uber-feminists who are breaking some kind sexual mold.

I only wish I could have expressed it so well myself.

But I still think there is nothing wrong with a great pair of expensive shoes.

Bagels and good MARTA karma

It's rare that I have a really nice morning. I hate getting up and very rarely do I have time for any semblance of breakfast. But this morning seemed to be the exception. I got up on time (a rarity), found clothing to wear with no problem (it was even something cute), and was out the door in time stop into Belly for one of their awesome bagels and coffee. Then, as soon as I walked up to my bus stop (just across the street) the 45 drove right up and opened up the doors. It dropped me off at the Midtown station just as a Northbound train was pulling up, so I was able to get to work 20 minutes early. Did I mention how perfect the weather is, too?

Maybe I'm pushing my luck, but perhaps I'll ride down to North Avenue and go to the Varsity for "lunch".

It's not often that I'm not bitching about something or the other, so it's really great to be able to write about a nice morning. I've still got to get through two shows today, but I think it's shaping up to be a nice day.

Cheers!

The grizzly bear diaries.

I've been sitting here watching the grizzly bear diaries. Wow. I've heard about it, but never watched it. All I can say is, that guy was a dumbass. I know that I call many people dumbasses and douchebags here at Donutorama, but this dude is exceptional. Don't EVER go live with grizzly bears. For obvious reasons. He got ate up. That's what happens. He kept referring to the bears the way one would refer to a dog. They are not dogs, dammit, they are bears, and will eat you, which they did. As cute as the baby cubs are, there is a vicious mama bear right there who will surely devour you soon as look at you. It kind of reminds me of the time when we were kids and I suffered the greatest ass whipping I've ever suffered at the hands of my Mama. We were catching baby alligators. Trust me, not good.

Don't get me wrong. I love animals. I would never even consider dating someone who didn't have some kind of pet, because I believe that pet ownership is the true expression of one's character. I have two cats, was raised with dogs, cats, guinea pigs, even a baby possum once. But I respect them. My cats can claw the crap out of me (they don't, but could), hunting dogs stay outside in the pen, and when the possum grows up, it's time to let it go out at the farm. So I'm not the least bit interested in adopting a baby alligator, much less living with bears.

On a brighter note, a few months ago I acquired an awesome pair of old skool shell top Adidas with grrly pink stripes. I've been wearing them fairly regularly (cuz they're AWESOME) and they had gotten fairly worn looking. Being the genius that I am, I threw them in the washing machine tonight. Now they look almost as good as new. I am happy.

There's my boring ass update. It's late, and I don't really feel like wrapping this up in a civilized way. I'm off like an 80's prom dress.

Where can I get one of these kittehs?

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Kind of looks a bit like my Lulu. If you look closely, it appears that the victim has dirty ears. Eww..

I don't have gas..

I stopped by the Standard Oil (in)convenience store on my way home from the big house tonight and there was no gas. There was, however, a hippie pontificating on how the lack of gasoline was just mother earth issuing her own correction for our inability to go green. I got into my v8 and drove away.

I'm not sure about Buddy's. Maybe they have gas and don't have hippies.

It was enough to keep me away from the NRPS show tonight.

Nuff said.

Once again..

....I couldn't resist.

Now that I'm getting back to my regular "show call" schedule, I'm a much happier donut. That meant that I was off yesterday. It's really nice to be off on the day when most people are just starting their work weeks. That way, I can get things done that would otherwise take me a long time to get done or would have to take time off work to do. The big thing yesterday was getting a new car tag and I was dreading it with a capital D. I can't think of a more unpleasant way to spend a day off, in a government office in a long line, waiting to talk to a government employee who can't WAIT to actively NOT help you.

I was pleasantly surprised.

The Fulton County Tax and Tag office was surprisingly easy to find (Thanks J!), the line amazingly short, and everyone I dealt with was incredibly pleasant. It was like bizarro Tag office. Twenty minutes and twenty dollars later, I walked out with a new Fulton County tag. Yay Fulton County! Right now, I totally heart you.

I spent the rest of my day enjoying the sunshine, had a nice lunch at Marco's Pita with awesome company, took a walk, had a few cocktails and watched a movie. The Kite Runner, to be exact, and it is definitely a must see. Beautiful cinematography, some of which was actually filmed in Kabul. Just the kind of flick to feed my obsession with central Asia. I even got to sleep in a little this morning, since rehearsal wasn't until 4pm. My kind of time off.

I think I'm going to try to catch a few shows this week, even if they are kind of hippie shows. New Riders of the Purple Sage are at Smith's tonight, and Blueground Undergrass are there on Thursday. Should be some decent shows.

Fashion question of the day: Is it too late in the year to wear jelly shoes? Because I TOTALLY wore mine today.

Let's not panic

Around the Big House today, much of the talk has been about gasoline, or the lack thereof. It seems that numerous people have been having trouble finding filling stations that have any, escalating to the point that some people have been changing plans due to the fact that their cars won't go with out it. I realize that the more we all collectively talk about it, the more the panic increases, just exacerbating the situation. In fact, I recently yelled at T-Baby for releasing her employees so that they could "go out and get gas before it's all gone".

For the most part, I ride MARTA. It's cheap, convenient (for where I live), easy, and usually entertaining. I will say that I've certainly noticed increased ridership lately, and that's a good thing. Kate over at Indignity, Thy Name is MARTA had a great post recently about seeing a girl do the "MARTA walk of shame". I suspect we'll be seeing more of that sort of thing.

Good thing I didn't buy that V-8, 5.7l....oh...wait....

What the hell is wrong with me?

So I've been having these massive, mind numbing headaches lately, and instead of taking my sorry ass to the doctor, I've decided that WebMD is the best place to find out what's wrong with me. Ever seen this thing? You just click on the part of the body that feels bad, click on a description of the symptom, and the cyber-doc spits out possible diagnoses. Awesome! I'll never have to wait in a waiting room, reading issues of Golfer Weekly from 1986 again! Except that the my doc in a laptop isn't really all that specific. According to Web MD, I could be suffering from, and I quote, cluster headaches, insomnia, anemia, methamphetamine withdrawal, too much caffeine, schizophrenia, or an aneurysm. Great. That really narrows it down for me. And makes me feel so much better. I think I'll just go take some more Advil, follow it with a cup of bad coffee, and hope it keeps my potential schizophrenia at bay.


Well kids, one more show then a blessed day day off! Sunday IS the new Friday.

Exceptional douche-baggery

So I stopped into Smith's Olde Bar tonight because it was "Americana" night of the Atlantis music festival. If you know me, you know I love Americana and am a devotee of local music so it seemed perfect. I wasn't there long, but I did get to hear one great band, Missy Gossip and the Secret Keepers. I think they're probably keepers..hehehe..yeah, I'm punny. Sorry I missed the Beggar's Guild, love those guys, but they were on at 10.30 and I was still at the theater factory.

While I think the Atlantis Music Conference is a great thing, giving local and regional band priority in the "good" rooms, there was a bizarre phenomenon I witnessed tonight. EVERYONE was wearing a douch-ey lanyard with an AMC lammie. DUDE! Seriously. It should have been called the Middle Georgia Douchebag Conference. If you are wearing a lanyard at a club gig, you MIGHT be douchebag. Keep the lammie in your pocket and use it for entrance to the events. I think it's great that we has this music festival that goes out of its way to make local musicians feel like rock stars, but just damn. It would be a good thing to know the guys who actually do the work find that the lanyards get in the way of DOING THEIR WORK. Where I work (a MAJOR venue) I am required to have my laminated, RF chip embedded badge on me at all times. But you won't find me wearing it on a lanyard. I did that for tooooo long (yep, I'm guilty of douchebaggery in my past, but never in an f'in BAR) and that shit just gets in my way. You know, what with the falling over my shoulder, etc, getting caught up in the electrical tie in...If you simply must wear it all the time, get thyself one of those little clippy do-dads (I have one!) and clip to your belt loop or the hem of your shirt. If I wasn't required to display it at all times, I'd put the damn thing in my pocket, except that I really need the little RF chip to work so that I can actually enter the building.

Don't get me wrong, kids. I have an entire collections of lanyards and lammies and I keep them hanging in my kitchen as an "interesting item". I've got 'em from v-Dosc, D&B Acoustics, Meyer Sound, Midas, Blue Collar TV, Big Night Out, Turner Studios (actually, that's the ONLY place I wear it because I can't get into craft services without it), Gospel Music Network, and numerous swag festivals that never amounted to a tumbleweed of cat hair. But I just keep those because my mom thinks they're cool.

And just so you know, you indie kids out there, a lanyard REALLY interferes with the visual impact of your ironic t-shit, I mean t-shirt.

I'll leave you guys with this one...How many indie rock kids from Athens, GA does it take to change a lightbulb? What! You don't know!

Love, peace and lotsa hair grease.

It's the most wonderful time of the year..

Yep, boys and grrls, it's that time again. Talk Like a Pirate Day! That will certainly cheer me up, thinking about all the scurvy bilge rats that I will make swab the deck and walk the plank.

So break out the rum and the jolly roger and enjoy!

Someone should let my uncle know

I couldn't help myself

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Fuck the poice..wait, what?

see

Obviously we haven't adopted "No Cop Left Behind" here in Atlanta.

U R DOIN IT RONG

see

I saw it on Ponce, I swear.

So yesterday I was cruising over to ye olde liquor store (yes, I'm fully aware that it was 4.30 on a Thursday, but hey! A girl's got deadlines here!) and damn near crashed my car. This is because at the corner of Ponce and Ponce Place, there was a white dude wearing an afro wig, Magnum P.I. sunglasses, a pair of blue Speedos, and roller skates. That is an image that will forever be burned in my mind. I wish to hell I'd had the presence of mind to snap a picture, even if it was just with my phone. But I was simply too busy staring in amazement and wonder. I swear to God, every day is frickin' Halloween in my neighborhood.

On another, somewhat related note, Shannie over at Where is My Freakin' Mind wanted to know if 8am is too early to start drinking. I told her no, she has two kids. She should be constantly drunk.

I seem to have taken sorry...

...my blog posts haven't been very creative lately. I guess I've been a little stagnant, which is a little ironic since I've been invited to join a local writer's guild. Perhaps these other women can enlighten me as to how to be funny when I feel incredibly unfunny.

Just got the new Chris Knight CD, Enough Rope. Definitely worth a listen, especially "Don't go Lookin for Trouble" and that other song about being on the road. Many of us have been there, and I wouldn't go back to that for the world or all the money in it. I gotta say "Cry Lonely" was pretty pertinent to my life 9 months ago.

Looking back as to the past 12 months, I would say that I've made some fairly good progress. I'm done with the deadwood that dragging me down for so long, but I will say that I've been so ADD at work that I'm having a hard time accomplishing anything. I had to put off programming my console today because I just simply couldn't focus. I'm pretty fortunate in that I have the luxury of postponing those kinds of tasks.

BTW, the Chris Knight shows at Smith's Olde Bar this past weekend were pretty stellar. Friday night left a little to be desired, lacking in energy, but the delivery was still there. Saturday night was filled with 1k and 4k feeding in the vox monitor, but the energy was there, and a much better show. I'm sure Billy got his share of text messages telling him what the problem was....ooohhh poor Billy, or Cosmo as we like to call him. Oh to be 21 and mixing in a rock venue again...and a good venue at that..with other engineers who protect you...

Peace out.

As you can see...

..I'm working VERY HARD today...

more music charts

My new clear com system

see more pwn and owned pictures

Parent of the year.

see more pwn and owned pictures

Trying something different.

I'm trying to claim this blog on Technorati and having some difficult logging in with OpenID, so I'm trying to execute my claim by publishing the code here.

Technorati Profile

On Republicans and fisher(wo)men

First off, I never created this blog to discuss politics. Myself, I believe that Americans take politics incredibly too personally. I have never dissolved a friendship because of opposing politics, but I know people who have. I hate hearing the personal attacks hurled at Republican/Democratic/Libertarian/Communist/Socialist/Catfishitarian candidates from the lunch tables of my workplace. I believe that if one is going to debate (notice I did not use the word "argue") politics, then the statements should be based in fact and reality, not speculation or personal feelings. Statements like "he's just evil" have no place in a rational marketplace of ideas. But we all seem to have a hard time staying away from those sort of things, so I tend to stay out of it.

But I would like just to say one thing. I REALLY REALLY wanted to like Sarah Palin. She was an unknown to me. I mean, I knew that Alaska had a governor, I just wasn't familiar with who it actually was. Come on, kids. It's Alaska. Who cares? Just wasn't on my radar. But when I found out a little more about her, I was intrigued. A maverick leader who ran on a ticket out to defeat corruption sounded okay by me. A hunter and fisherman, well, I could relate to that, having grown up in a culture of hunting and fishing (and not in a quaint, recreational way, nor a redneck, possum eating kind of way, either). I imagined a hippie libertarian with bold new ideas. Someone rather new to the political arena who might not have been brainwashed enough to just nod and smile and keep her mouth shut.

But I just can't like her. And not because her vetting has developed the appearance of a Saturday Night Live skit. That part, I actually love, proving that even politicians are human and that I have a depraved sense of humor. But because SHE seems so devoid of a sense of humor and greatly lacking in any good sense.

My $.02, for what it's worth.

Flame away. I'm sure I've got it coming.

For Joe

I found out this morning that my old friend Joe died on Saturday morning. He was 35, and I've known him since 1990, when I was a freshman at Wesleyan. One of the funniest people I've ever known, Joe was the inventor of "tie dancing", which he performed with utter perfection at every Wesleyan date event from 1990 until 1994. He also drove a car that had the most, um, interesting interior I've ever seen. And by interesting interior,I mean that on any given day, in the backseat was a couple or three half empty Dominoes pizza boxes (he worked as a pizza guy all through school), some Co-cola cans (half empty as well), and often dirty underwear and socks. His girlfriend at the time (still my best friend) would often refuse to ride in the Escort, preferring my truck or her Mitsubishi to The Rolling Trashcan.

Joe's idea of a joke was wearing a Green Bay Packers hat backwards. We're still not really sure what it meant, but was exceedingly funny at the time. I called him Toe Sucker and he called me his little Toe Ho. I think I still have emails in my inbox that contain nothing but the text "Did you get a pedicure this week?"

Good bye my little Toe Sucker. You will be missed.

I've got me a fearless heart..

...strong enough to get you through the scary part. Back in the 80's, Steve Earle wrote those words and my Daddy sung them to me. That's what I want. A fearless heart. Strong enough to get someone else through the terrifying part...maybe one day I'll get there.

Three day weekend!

Unexpectedly, I've found myself with a three day weekend. If you know my schedule, that almost never happens. So here I am on a Saturday morning, wandering around the hobbit hole, fretting over how to spend my time. Most of my comrades are working all weekend, so I have a short list of partners in crime to choose from. I considered going to visit my mom, but just couldn't quite bring myself to haul my ass all the way over to Alabama, not to mention the fact that it's still fairly hot down there, making tattoos a little more difficult to hide. T-baby and I have been talking about getting together, so we're gonna check in with each other later in the day and see how each other is feeling. She's had a hell of a week, what with being sued by a crazy-insane ex-employer and all, and I think it's taken a toll on her energy and sanity. So there's a chance I may drive down to Macon later on and hang with her for bit.

Drive Invasion is this weekend here in the Dirty Dirty, and is always more fun than you can shake a twelve pack of PBR at, but damn! It's gotten expensive! $25 a day! But the movie selection is stellar as always, as are the bands. Plus the Starlite Drive in is definitely a must do destination for the new ride.

Looking around the hobbit hole here, I'm realizing that it resembles the aftermath of an atomic dirty laundry bomb, complete with little urban tumbleweeds made of Lulu cat hair lazily blowing in the breeze. I'm also realizing that I have ZERO inclination for cleaning.

I also need to figure out what I'm going to do with Ding Ding Here Comes the Shit Mobile. The whole point of a new car was so that I could get rid of the 1993 Mitsucrappi that I've been driving for 10 years now. That thing made a new and exciting sound every day. And I don't mean in a good way. I suppose I could sell it to some poor, unsuspecting soul, but I think my karma would seriously suffer. And I really can't have that. I think I'll spend some time today researching donating it to Cars for Kids or something like that. I don't think it would even garner me $500 in scrap. Any ideas? If any of you guys have ever donated your old car to a charity, how did it go? How does it work?

Also Dragon*Con is here this weekend. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but spending Labor Day weekend with a bunch of folks who think that dressing up like Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Captain Sulu is EVER a good idea just doesn't seem all that appealing to me. I'm skipping the parade because I'm fairly sure that witnessing 50 Wonder Women strolling down Peachtree just may do something unsavory for my psyche.

I'll leave you guys with that little mental image.

Where have I been?

I know, I know...I've been absent for about a minute. I still need to get up some posts about Turkey, and I will, but I've sorta been busy just living life and letting it get stupid complicated on me.

Just damn if dudes can't make a grrl crazy. Up until about 48 hours ago, I was fairly content, loving the fact that "mundane" and "ordinary" were adjectives I could use to describe how I lived. Then I had to go and just complicate things, but really only in my head. Things were rocking along just fine, then a little comment like "I don't really miss people when I'm away" had to jump up in my tiny pea brain and back me into a corner where I start second guessing everything. Overnight, I've turned into one of those stupid chicks who sits around and asks herself "What did he mean by that?" Well Holly, he probably meant what he said. I'm just kind of sucking tonight.

Did I mention that I am SOOO ready for a road trip? Perhaps that's because I just bought a brand new Charger, complete with a v8, 5.7l Hemi engine. So on top of all the weirdness, I'm kinda feeling like an awesome badass. Yes, I will be taking it to Drive Invasion over the weekend. We won't even begin to discuss the the gas mileage on the car. I just call it the visible evidence that supports the idea that I make bad decisions.

Okay, gotta go. M.A.S.H. reruns are on.

Keep it 'tween the ditches, y'all.
H

Three Flights in 36 Hours! Let's do that!

After 3 flights in 36 hours (one on what should have been called Borat Air), I'm home! We landed around 2.30 on Saturday morning, exhausted, filthy, and just plain stressed out. I'm fairly sure that within those 36 hours, I went thought some sort of security checkpoint at least 12 times. Let me say, the Turks got this airport security thing down. To tell the truth, I never found it inconvenient or annoying like the TSA in the States, but instead, oddly comforting. They don't seem to be afraid to profile and have no interest in annoying people who are OBVIOUSLY harmless tourists armed with nothing more than excessive photos and a deadly amount of Turkish Delight packed away in their checked luggage.

I had every intention of updating the blog while away, but getting to a working computer with actual REAL internet service was much more difficult that I imagined, and when I DID find one, it was fairly cost prohibitive. About 4 dollars for 15 minutes. I just can't have that sort of thing, seeing as I needed all my spare lira for trinkets such as blue evil eyes, genuine fake watched and that sort of junk. I even toted home a bottle of Raki.

Turkey is an interesting country. For now, I'll leave it at that. I'm not saying we didn't have a good time, we most certainly did. But the unfamiliarity of the culture is way too complicated to even begin to explain right now. I have forty-eleven million pictures that I will upload to Shutterfly at some point, probably some today.

For now, I'm going to enjoy watching uncensored CNN, coffee with chicory, and real, genuine toilets.

Updates later.

I'm packing..

..well, finishing packing. I'm sort of frantic. I'll be okay.

Who's the world's biggest asshole..

..that would be me! In absence of a musical director, considering that I'm the mixing "sound designer"...that means that when things are askew with the orchestra/band, I'm the one giving the notes. It all was nothing but a hot mess for the past two nights. Seriously...you can't play the Danny Elfman "Simspsons" theme at the finish of the very defining ballad...really? Now I'm the bad guy since there was a "coming to jesus" moment at my behest..and everyone knew it was at the mixer's request...

sigh...I just don't need this shit as I am currently trying to teach someone else the show since I'll be leaving for Turkey after the Thursday night show...

Kisses,
H

One step closer

I received my plane tickets today!!! Well, actually, they're e-tickets, not quite as glamorous, but hey! It's the 21st century. Packing is moving along slowly, but surely.

I will probably be heading over to Smith's tomorrow night for the Vagabonds CD release. I heard a little rumor that Hedwig and the Angry Inch may make a surprise appearance. Hedwig unplugged would be something not to be missed.

I went all the way to Asia Minor..

Emily Saliers wrote "I went all the way to Paris, just to forget your name". I'm going all the way to central Asia just to, well, go....I'm up late because I need to get some things done, like, oh, well...packing. I'm ironing my wretchedly cute yellow plaid capri pants, cherry print skirt, etc. It's been a little difficult packing because, well, while Turkey is a democratic, secular country, the culture is inherently Muslim. That means that fashions are decidedly western in nature, however, sleeveless tops and short skirts are verboten. And if you know me, that means I'm having a difficult time here. And I have no idea how heavily tattooed women will be received, but I guess I'm about to find out. I am equipped to cover them if necessary. I even am in possession of a headscarf for the outer regions, and if you know me, that's probably frucking you out...

Question for you all. Am I the only bitch who packs Pringles, Pop Tarts, Baked Cheetos, and Caribou Coffee Bars to go to Istanbul? I figure it's a 5 hour bus ride from the Golden Horn to Bursa, and I might get hungry. One never knows what the magic bag might hold...Neosporin, Moleskin, a blanket, oh...look! a Pop Tart!

I have to say, as a sound guy, I'm fantasizing about the soundscape of Istanbul. To hear the roar of a European city mixed with the muezzins's call to prayer should be pretty exciting, to say the least. Then when we get further into the interior and the southeastern regions, I have absolutely NO idea what those places will sound like. I've never ever heard anyone speak Kurdish. I imagine that the coastal, resort cities will sound not unlike Panama City Beach, except in Turkce. I do have to say that I am looking forward to a day or two spent on the beach of the Turkish Mediterranean. I'm thinking I may run by Radio Shack and pick up a $50 mp3 usb recorder just because no one will believe what I've heard...Let me know if you guys have any ideas on models, etc...

I've also been reading a lot lately about Turkce food. Just damn! To think that tomatoes are as prevalent there as the deep south, meaning that I can get a 'mater sammich in Istanbul is blowing my mind! Believe it or not, they eat a 'mater sammich about the same way we do! Who wouldn't! Plus, think of all the meat on sticks! And the cheese and the bread puddings. I'm gonna come back 20 lbs heavier, except for the climbing and walking and whatnot. I may do an entire photo album on food you can stab.

We leave July 11th. I wish I could take many of you with me, because I have so many friends I would love to share this with..I am, however, going to try to blog while I'm there. I understand that internet cafes are plentiful in the larger towns, and most of my hotels have a business center. I doubt I be able to upload photos, but if my friend Matthew can blog from Kathmandu, then I'll probably have no trouble from Kusadasi.

I'll let you kids know how the packing is going later on in the week. We're flying Delta and damn if the summabitches aint knocked down the weight restrictions on internationals to 50 lbs. I may have to abandon some clothes in lieu of Cheezits and Jim Beam..Look on the bright side..you can smoke ANYWHERE in Turkey. They've never even heard of a no smoking section! Yay me! I'm not, however, looking forward to 15 hours in the air with nothing but Nicorette, Jim Beam, and Xanax...

Love, peace, and hair grease...
H

Alarms, feral cats, and eyeballs

Apparently I slept through multiple phone calls from boss around 6am this morning. It seems that the alarm at the shop was going off, she was in Las Vegas, and I live just around the corner from the shop. This makes me the first call at ungodly hours of the day. Amazingly, I didn't hear it, which is weird because I'm so cracked out on my phone that I can sense it before it even rings.

Turns out a feral cat had gotten locked in the warehouse and was trying to get out. Poor little guy. I'm sure his little kitty whiskers were all atwitchin' at that alarm that is louder than a Metallica concert.

I had an eye appointment this morning. That's right, boys and girls, it's that time of year. Time to have my eyelids pried open like that scene from Conspiracy Theory and have some kind of battery acid dropped into them. Optometrist like to call this "eye dilation". I call it something that was outlawed with the Geneva Convention. Oh well, it's kind of one of those things you have to do, vision being pretty key to do all of those things we like to do, such as driving, reading, watching TV, playing beer pong...

The weird thing was that the doc was doing all these new little tests I've never had done. I'm not sure if he was checking to see if I needed old people glasses or a cornea transplant, but something was amiss. I was fairly sure it was going to end in tears.

So I've got new glasses AND new contacts coming. Of course, due to the fact that I'm as blind as those weird deep sea fish that have no eyes, they had neither my contacts or lenses in stock. My glasses wont' be here for a few days and my contacts are probably being milled by little Indonesian children from sand and niobium, so they won't be here for at least a week. Oh...to be able to wear sunglasses again!

All right kids. Gotta go do a little skit about a drag queen with a botched sex change, so pants are probably not optional. I just hope I have some clean ones, since my eyes are all jacked up and I'll have to locate they by sense of smell.

A Lesson Learned

I learned a valuable lesson on Sunday night/early Monday morning. If I eat Chinese Buddha at 2am (they stay open until 6am..YAY!) and then go home and go to bed, it will give me wretched nightmares. So from now on, no matter how appealing the crab rangoon and potstickers sound after a few drinks, I need to relegate myself to the Majestic or simply some Cheezits. Because, really, who doesn't like Cheezits?

Awesome

Last night. Mudhoney at the EARL. Fuck yeah.

That is all.

Souveniers, anyone?

I wonder if I can find one of these in The Grand Bazaar?

Blog, blog, ohh...blog..

Like my friend K, I too have been a bad blogger. Oh, I love reading other people's blogs and get pissed off when they don't update on a regular basis. But it seems to be in my nature lately to be kind of lazy as far as intarweb updates go. Instead, I have preferred to spend my time off at home, in the AC (Atlanta is MISERABLE this time of year!) watching really bad 80's movies on AMC. Sometimes I even get in bed as early as 8.30 and watch this drivel. Let's see, in the past week, I've watched Wargames, Death Wish 3, and Flashdance (twice!!??). And I have to finish this post by 8pm, because Escape from New York comes on then. WTF is the matter with me??!!! I really have nothing to say to anyone on the phone, with the exception of L, whom I'm going to Turkey with in a few weeks, and those conversations usually consist of where we can smoke in JFK while we make our connection to Istanbul. Then I usually tell her to turn on AMC, because Flashdance is on, so she hangs up and we text each other snide comments about the great cinematography.

But seriously, the location of where we can smoke in the few hours before we settle into an almost 20 hour flight is IMPORTANT STUFF. No one wants an international incident. And trust me, with the two of us, it's very possible. Nicorette, here I come. Actually, it will probably be Xanax and 3 drinks, followed by a deep sleep/coma. Thank god it's a direct flight so I won't have to disembark and clear immigration in some craphole like Frankfurt.

I think what's going on is that I'm completely overwhelmed. I have a new show that loads in on Friday, and I have almost no staff for that. Then, I have to get it open. Somewhere in there, I have to pack to leave for a country that is 3 continents away for 17 days. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about all of this. Just a little freaked out. Oh yeah, then there's the whole "trying to buy a house" thingy..and the HUGE obstacle in the way of that..sigh..Not to mention the whole lack of sex in my life, which would go a long way to easing some anxiety...

Seriously, I need to take a leaf blower to the interior of my apartment.

Gotta go. Kurt Russell is on a few.

Off like a prom dress.
H

We're done!

Shake at the Lake is done! As usual, it was a great show, a great experience, a great company, and a great time. I'll try and post some more pictures and video as the week goes on.

Our sound load out wasn't all that bad. The time from hands on dead cases to the truck pulling away back to the shop was just a little over an hour and half. Which probably means I'm gonna have a hell of a time de-prepping the rig on Tuesday and Wednesday (translation: it might be a mess). That's okay, though. When I left around 1.30, the electricians were almost finished loading their truck and seemed to be moving along well. The carpenters, however, were in less good shape. It seems they didn't have as many hands show up as they were expecting. I'm fairly dangerous with screwguns and such, so I wouldn't have been much help.

All in all, it was pretty great. I got to work with an awesome company, was able to participate in the creation of some excellent (and free!) theater, hung with some cool kids, spent some time outdoors, and was even able to exchange some banter with a someone I have a huge crush on (I can still barely talk to them...working on that..).

Viva la bohemia, viva la Shake at the Lake!

Until next time.

Another tornado..

Frickin' A! If you know me, you know that I get frucked out by bad weather, particularity tornadoes. Damn if we aren't under another tornado warning. All I can say is I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. I'm on pins and needles. I used to think that there couldn't be tornadoes in the urban areas. Boy, howdey!! Was I ever wrong...now there's more on the way...god hope I can live through them...that's why I'm up so late...I can't sleep in this crap....

Shakin' at the Lake

Check out Mark getting funky to the sounds of Sly and the Family Stone as he sweeps the deck funkadelic style.

Yes. I work with freaks.

Weather...sigh..

Looks like it may rain again tonight. Fortunately, it probably won't be until after the show. This is good because Saturday night is the biggest night. Unfortunately, It's probably gonna rain all day on Sunday, and that is bad. We have to strike and load out on Sunday night after the show. I'm really looking forward to Tuesday in the shop when I have to disassemble the rig that will be caked in mud.

I love May.

More Shake at the Lake

There are some great photos of opening night here.

We're all still pretty exhausted. Last night was kind of rainy, and that always gets a little scary. Since we play on an uncovered stage, the deck can get slippery in rainy weather. But our illustrious stagehands so generously made a few cameos with mops and such, keeping the deck dry.

We finished show #2, then moved on to The Black Bear for some well deserved drinks and burgers. They have good burgers.

After The Black Bear, it was time to hustle on down the road for an evening of sin at The Clermont Lounge. Did I mention drinking was involved? Many PBR's and lap dances later, we closed the place down. That's all I can say. What happens at the Clermont, stays at the Clermont.

Time to get dressed and trek back over to Piedmont Park. I'm hoping to score some pizza from Quattro for dinner. Yum.

Shake at the Lake 2008

Well, Shake at the Lake 2008 opened last night, and, well, so far, so....well, let's just say that nothing has gone in the water yet (which is a massive improvement over 2006). Load in day is a pretty impressive thing to behold. First is a picture of the almost finished product, taken around 4pm on Monday. The second was taken around 12pm. Most days I'm glad I'm not an electrician. Monday was no exception.

The third picture was taken around 10am, just as sound and lighting were beginning to load in. As you can see, the set wasn't QUITE finished. This company is amazing.
I'll try and get a good photo tonight of the set under full lights. It's so pretty.

So if you're in the Atlanta area and are one of the few people who read this blog that aren't actually working on or involved in the show, come on out. We're running until Sunday night, and it's free. How can you beat that?

Making changes and hanging on

When one is attempting a major overhaul of one's life, they tend to think about all the things they may be leaving behind. I am right there. There are lots of things I've left behind in my former life, such as cheap chianti, marijuana activism, nitrous oxide, jam bands, Birkenstock sandals, tie dye, The Grateful Dead, my loser ex- husband, vegetarianism, and patchouli oil.

But I realized this morning that there are two things I'm holding on to.

The first is Dr. Bronner's Magic Peppermint Soap. It's soooo tingly and makes you feel so clean, especially during the warmer months. Sometimes I even wash clothes in it. It also comes in almond, eucalyptus, and lavender, but I prefer the peppermint. Go get some.

The second is Palmer's Cocoa Butter. It smells almost like vanilla and leaves your skin so smooth. It also is the best balm after an unfortunate sunburn. Get some of that, too.

A retraction.

Back in the summer, I wrote a post asking people to log onto Radio Free Texas and vote for this band. I've changed my mind. Don't do it. In fact, if you can go there and retract your vote, do it. Three of these four men are absolutely despicable creatures. The frontman is a drama queen who likes to involve himself in everyone else's business like a 14 year old high school girl and tends to talk in lyrics. He thinks this makes him "deep". The bass player is a sociopath who will burst out screaming at people for no apparent reason and has familiar relationships that would bring Jerry Springer to his knees. He thinks this makes him "quirky".The drummer has been cheating on his wife for god knows how long and even took his paramour home to his parents house over the holidays. He thinks this makes him "independent".

So kids, consider this a retraction. There are too many good, hardworking bands out there that actually deserve your support. These guys are not one of them.

Disjointed..

I have such a short attention span these days and seem so absent minded. I guess I've got a lot on my mind, but it's really becoming annoying. I've currently got two big shows in pre-production, one of which I'm attempting to slam together. Accomplishing 2 weeks of work in 3 days is no easy feat, I'll tell ya. I haven't even done anything more on the second show other than listen to the soundtrack off and on. Things are kind of piling up around here.

Not to mention that I'm going to Turkey in July. That is beginning to seem overwhelming. There is so much to do. We'll be gone for two and a half weeks, and just being gone that long on the same continent as one lives is daunting for me. Much less planning for a trip to Asia Minor. I'm so afraid that somehow I'll fuck it up. My visa won't be complete, somehow my bank account will be inexplicably emptied on my second day in Istanbul, you get the drift. I have visions of myself wandering the continent with no money, no resources, and not a friend in the world other than some hitchhiker named Raul I've picked up somewhere around Koine.

At least it's something to look forward to and work for. It means that I have got to bust my ass for the next 3 months. That's okay. I can do it. Because, bitches! I'm going to Turkey.

Be nice to me and maybe I'll bring you back a rug.

Peace out, girlscout.

Now that I'm done.

You, hey you. You know who I'm talking to. It's you, the guy who has decided that he prefers 200lb. girls of dubious morals to the woman who supported him for the better part of twelve years. But hey! She's 24! You've got that going for you. You always wanted children. Now you got one. There are so many things I will never have to put up with again now that you're outta here. Let's list them.

1. Never again will I have to watch the travesty of the way you overcook a decent steak.

2..Never again will I have to listen to you whine about how the music scene in Atlanta is so lame and you can't catch a break. Atlanta has one of the most vibrant music scenes in the country. Maybe your band just sucks.

3. Never again will I have to wash my hair, take a bath, fix my make up, etc. by candlelight because you "forgot" to pay the electric bill.

4. Never again will I have to worry when the landlord comes to fix anything in the kitchen because he might find your collection of water pipes.

5. Never again will I be late to work because you "just had" to stop by the head shop.

6. Never again will I have to listen to you insult my friends while comparing them to yours. Your friends play in bands. Mine have jobs.

7. Never again will I have to be concerned about what might be in your backpack when you get pulled over by the police and are still on probation.

8. Never again will I have to worry about the police. Period.

9. Never again will I be required to sit through another badly mixed set of an unfortunate band in the unfortunate bar you work in

10. Never again will I have to listen to your sidekick give running commentary on our relationship, my mental health, etc. It's none of his damn business, I don't care what happened at his little show.

12. Never again will I have to sit in our living room on Christmas day while your sleazy father reads Playboys in front of your mother and grandmother, all the while comparing the breasts of the centerfold to those of your mother's.

13. Never again will I cry myself to sleep at night because you didn't have the decency to show up at any opening night events that were important to me. Not even The Color Purple.

14. Never again will I have to choose between you and your little friends and my blood family member.

15. Never again will I have to listen to my friends and family bitch at me for staying with such a loser.

Now that that's out of the way, there are soooo many things I can look forward to. Some of them I've even accomplished already. Let's list those!

1. I can have a nice, cute, clean house. Check.

2. My friends are not afraid to visit me. Check.

3. I can travel as much as I like to wherever I like, with whomever I like. It's gonna be a long flight to Turkey with your little buddy's ex. I'm sure we'll have LOTS to talk about.

4. I can watch whatever I like on television. Especially since I have HDTV. Check.

5. I can listen to any music I like. Even Broadway cast recordings. Check.

6. I can buy lots of shoes, since I no longer will have to squirrel away money for your potential bail. Check.

7. I can get as many tattoos as I like, since I can now afford them. See above.

8. I can pursue any creative endeavor I like.

9. I can eat a goddamn piece of pizza without having to listen to you expound upon the brilliance of Radney Foster's songwriting.

10. I don't have to worry that we might wind up living in Tennessee.

11. I can fuck anyone I like.

12. I no longer feel like killing myself.

So go on along. I hope it works out for you and the little girl your friend introduced you to. I hope she turns out to be crazier than me. And keep on shaving your little balls. That's attractive on a 40 year old man. They look like dried up raisins. I hope you cut yourself. Go crazy convincing yourself that I'm stalking you and her, doing all kinds of things that are pretty much impossible.

And yes, I read your email inbox. I read your myspace inbox. I also viewed her little "private" profile. Hell, I even listened to your voicemail for your cell phone. I'm sure you'll rant and rave about some damn "privacy" issue. Blow it out your ass.

I'm upset, of course. I'll cry some. I'll probably even not sleep a lot. But I'll move on. You, however, are going to find it hard to do that.

P.S. I LOVE cooking on your grill pan that you left with me!

Upon watching the movie "Cassanova"

I found this particular movie incredibly repulsive. Even though the incredibly romantic Cassanova wound up with the pluck, indeterminable Francesca, it was absolutely repulsive. How is it that a man who consistently deceives women is portrayed as a hero? It's really too bad that the Pope intervened with the revoking of the capital punishment allotted for adultery.

This man was a choad and an S.O.B. (as we call it in the South) and had no right to get away with what he got away with....

Cheers,

A Southern Belle (but one who has become urban-i-fied)