Three Flights in 36 Hours! Let's do that!

After 3 flights in 36 hours (one on what should have been called Borat Air), I'm home! We landed around 2.30 on Saturday morning, exhausted, filthy, and just plain stressed out. I'm fairly sure that within those 36 hours, I went thought some sort of security checkpoint at least 12 times. Let me say, the Turks got this airport security thing down. To tell the truth, I never found it inconvenient or annoying like the TSA in the States, but instead, oddly comforting. They don't seem to be afraid to profile and have no interest in annoying people who are OBVIOUSLY harmless tourists armed with nothing more than excessive photos and a deadly amount of Turkish Delight packed away in their checked luggage.

I had every intention of updating the blog while away, but getting to a working computer with actual REAL internet service was much more difficult that I imagined, and when I DID find one, it was fairly cost prohibitive. About 4 dollars for 15 minutes. I just can't have that sort of thing, seeing as I needed all my spare lira for trinkets such as blue evil eyes, genuine fake watched and that sort of junk. I even toted home a bottle of Raki.

Turkey is an interesting country. For now, I'll leave it at that. I'm not saying we didn't have a good time, we most certainly did. But the unfamiliarity of the culture is way too complicated to even begin to explain right now. I have forty-eleven million pictures that I will upload to Shutterfly at some point, probably some today.

For now, I'm going to enjoy watching uncensored CNN, coffee with chicory, and real, genuine toilets.

Updates later.

I'm packing..

..well, finishing packing. I'm sort of frantic. I'll be okay.

Who's the world's biggest asshole..

..that would be me! In absence of a musical director, considering that I'm the mixing "sound designer"...that means that when things are askew with the orchestra/band, I'm the one giving the notes. It all was nothing but a hot mess for the past two nights. Seriously...you can't play the Danny Elfman "Simspsons" theme at the finish of the very defining ballad...really? Now I'm the bad guy since there was a "coming to jesus" moment at my behest..and everyone knew it was at the mixer's request...

sigh...I just don't need this shit as I am currently trying to teach someone else the show since I'll be leaving for Turkey after the Thursday night show...

Kisses,
H

One step closer

I received my plane tickets today!!! Well, actually, they're e-tickets, not quite as glamorous, but hey! It's the 21st century. Packing is moving along slowly, but surely.

I will probably be heading over to Smith's tomorrow night for the Vagabonds CD release. I heard a little rumor that Hedwig and the Angry Inch may make a surprise appearance. Hedwig unplugged would be something not to be missed.

I went all the way to Asia Minor..

Emily Saliers wrote "I went all the way to Paris, just to forget your name". I'm going all the way to central Asia just to, well, go....I'm up late because I need to get some things done, like, oh, well...packing. I'm ironing my wretchedly cute yellow plaid capri pants, cherry print skirt, etc. It's been a little difficult packing because, well, while Turkey is a democratic, secular country, the culture is inherently Muslim. That means that fashions are decidedly western in nature, however, sleeveless tops and short skirts are verboten. And if you know me, that means I'm having a difficult time here. And I have no idea how heavily tattooed women will be received, but I guess I'm about to find out. I am equipped to cover them if necessary. I even am in possession of a headscarf for the outer regions, and if you know me, that's probably frucking you out...

Question for you all. Am I the only bitch who packs Pringles, Pop Tarts, Baked Cheetos, and Caribou Coffee Bars to go to Istanbul? I figure it's a 5 hour bus ride from the Golden Horn to Bursa, and I might get hungry. One never knows what the magic bag might hold...Neosporin, Moleskin, a blanket, oh...look! a Pop Tart!

I have to say, as a sound guy, I'm fantasizing about the soundscape of Istanbul. To hear the roar of a European city mixed with the muezzins's call to prayer should be pretty exciting, to say the least. Then when we get further into the interior and the southeastern regions, I have absolutely NO idea what those places will sound like. I've never ever heard anyone speak Kurdish. I imagine that the coastal, resort cities will sound not unlike Panama City Beach, except in Turkce. I do have to say that I am looking forward to a day or two spent on the beach of the Turkish Mediterranean. I'm thinking I may run by Radio Shack and pick up a $50 mp3 usb recorder just because no one will believe what I've heard...Let me know if you guys have any ideas on models, etc...

I've also been reading a lot lately about Turkce food. Just damn! To think that tomatoes are as prevalent there as the deep south, meaning that I can get a 'mater sammich in Istanbul is blowing my mind! Believe it or not, they eat a 'mater sammich about the same way we do! Who wouldn't! Plus, think of all the meat on sticks! And the cheese and the bread puddings. I'm gonna come back 20 lbs heavier, except for the climbing and walking and whatnot. I may do an entire photo album on food you can stab.

We leave July 11th. I wish I could take many of you with me, because I have so many friends I would love to share this with..I am, however, going to try to blog while I'm there. I understand that internet cafes are plentiful in the larger towns, and most of my hotels have a business center. I doubt I be able to upload photos, but if my friend Matthew can blog from Kathmandu, then I'll probably have no trouble from Kusadasi.

I'll let you kids know how the packing is going later on in the week. We're flying Delta and damn if the summabitches aint knocked down the weight restrictions on internationals to 50 lbs. I may have to abandon some clothes in lieu of Cheezits and Jim Beam..Look on the bright side..you can smoke ANYWHERE in Turkey. They've never even heard of a no smoking section! Yay me! I'm not, however, looking forward to 15 hours in the air with nothing but Nicorette, Jim Beam, and Xanax...

Love, peace, and hair grease...
H

Alarms, feral cats, and eyeballs

Apparently I slept through multiple phone calls from boss around 6am this morning. It seems that the alarm at the shop was going off, she was in Las Vegas, and I live just around the corner from the shop. This makes me the first call at ungodly hours of the day. Amazingly, I didn't hear it, which is weird because I'm so cracked out on my phone that I can sense it before it even rings.

Turns out a feral cat had gotten locked in the warehouse and was trying to get out. Poor little guy. I'm sure his little kitty whiskers were all atwitchin' at that alarm that is louder than a Metallica concert.

I had an eye appointment this morning. That's right, boys and girls, it's that time of year. Time to have my eyelids pried open like that scene from Conspiracy Theory and have some kind of battery acid dropped into them. Optometrist like to call this "eye dilation". I call it something that was outlawed with the Geneva Convention. Oh well, it's kind of one of those things you have to do, vision being pretty key to do all of those things we like to do, such as driving, reading, watching TV, playing beer pong...

The weird thing was that the doc was doing all these new little tests I've never had done. I'm not sure if he was checking to see if I needed old people glasses or a cornea transplant, but something was amiss. I was fairly sure it was going to end in tears.

So I've got new glasses AND new contacts coming. Of course, due to the fact that I'm as blind as those weird deep sea fish that have no eyes, they had neither my contacts or lenses in stock. My glasses wont' be here for a few days and my contacts are probably being milled by little Indonesian children from sand and niobium, so they won't be here for at least a week. Oh...to be able to wear sunglasses again!

All right kids. Gotta go do a little skit about a drag queen with a botched sex change, so pants are probably not optional. I just hope I have some clean ones, since my eyes are all jacked up and I'll have to locate they by sense of smell.

A Lesson Learned

I learned a valuable lesson on Sunday night/early Monday morning. If I eat Chinese Buddha at 2am (they stay open until 6am..YAY!) and then go home and go to bed, it will give me wretched nightmares. So from now on, no matter how appealing the crab rangoon and potstickers sound after a few drinks, I need to relegate myself to the Majestic or simply some Cheezits. Because, really, who doesn't like Cheezits?